The REAL Reason Why You Are Afraid of Giving Love a Chance…I Should Know!
About this time last year, I had my heart broken pretty badly from a guy that I felt was going to be in my life for a lifetime. After all, my godmother had told me that she heard from the Holy Spirit that this was to be my husband.
He and I met and we instantly hit it off. We talked to each other about everything. There was nothing that I felt I couldn’t tell this man. Well, right on St. Patrick’s’ Day of 2014, he broke my heart.
I got angry at my godmother because of her “false prophetic” insight. I got angry at myself for letting someone in and allowing him to get so close to me that he had the chance to break my heart.
Fast forward a year later, and…here I am again, in another relationship. Even after telling myself that I was done. Over…finnito…stick a fork in me and call it done! But do you want to know a little secret? I’ll tell you:
The truth of the matter is that I know myself. ..deep down, through and through. I am a hopeless romantic. I realized that I was lying to myself by saying that I didn’t want to be in a relationship. I fought against it and at the same time, I knew I was being dishonest with myself.
“One of the worst lies that one can ever tell, is a lie to themselves.”~Renee
The man in my life now is a breath of fresh air. Is he perfect? No! But does he treat me like the Queen that I am? YES!! Do I expect him to be in my life forever? No one really knows! But now, I have found a hidden blessing in the fact that we may or may not. Why?…Because it isn’t for me to know. I am to live only in the NOW!!
Will he break my heart like all of the others? GOD, Is he the ONE????? Will I marry him and then 25 years down the line we get divorced? The moment I start to worry about these things, it takes the beauty of what we have now away.
I was the type of person that pushed people away because I never knew if they were going to leave or stay. I didn’t have time for it. My heart was already banged up pretty badly. So, I developed my sweet little defense mechanism. “Keep them at arm’s length…don’t let them get too close!…” was my motto.
But…what kind of life is that to live? I can tell you now it’s not healthy at all. See, in life, love is a gamble…a risk. You don’t know who will come into your life for just a reason, a season, or a lifetime. But there is where the problem lies. We can either get so attached to a person and that person was never meant to be there for a lifetime, or we can push away a person with all of our might, when that person WAS meant to be a lifetime companion.
“I have no idea how long he`ll be here
A season or a lifetime, forever or a year
But for the first time in my life I`m not worried about the future
Because we have such a wonderful time when we`re together
However things turn out it`s alright
Because he`s already changed my life” ~India.Arie
We all are going to experience some kind of hurt and pain, but is it worth building up a wall so mighty that no one can climb it? And if they do start to climb, are you standing there with brick in hand waiting to fire and aim? Trust me, I know…BELIEVE ME!.
In One Republics’ song called “I Lived,” some of the lyrics say, “I hope you fall in love and it hurts so bad…” The reason they say that is because they know that falling in love with someone, to give someone else your heart and give them the trust that they will take care of it, is a scary thing to do. A big, damn scary thing.
But take it from someone who has been there and done that…much like you. Give it a chance.
Give LOVE a chance. If you know who you are and you love yourself, you will choose a person that will treat you the way you deserve to be treated.
After that, if you find yourself to be falling in love with that person, don’t be afraid (hahahaha, it’s so funny I am able to say this now because I fought my boyfriend tooth and nail!), but take that deep breath, fall, and just enjoy the moment for what it is.
I tell my boyfriend as long as it is TODAY and you are still here, then things are going the way it should. I only live for today. Tomorrow doesn’t exist for me. But I am proud of myself for giving love a chance as scary as it is.
Why not give love a chance today? Is it scary? Yes! Can it hurt you? Yes, well so can driving a car, but we do it every day don’t we? Take that risk…stop fighting the very thing that your heart has always wanted.
For the independent women out there, you know good and well that we can sing that we are independent and don’t need a man in our lives, but if we are completely and brutally honest with ourselves, we know that we desire that one good man to hold us and make us feel safe.
I know if I’m allowing it…and if I can, then surely you can, too.
P.S. Listen to the words of this song…Really LISTEN!
Categories: Some Real Talk