If You Want that Man to Respect You, It is Time to Set Up Some Boundaries!
Boundaries need to be communicated first verbally and then with actions. ~Dr. Henry Cloud
I am going to get straight to the point…it literally makes me want to pull my hair out wondering why some women take the stuff that the men in their lives dish out to them. The reason why, in my opinion, that they stay is simply because they are often insecure. They have a fear of being without a man and having a not-so-good man is better than sleeping alone at night.
And those men know this. Even if the woman says that they want to leave, he knows that she has said that time and time again and so he calls her bluff. Why? Because he knows that all he has to do is get her some flowers, give her money to get her hair done, cry or make false promises that he know he won’t keep, and just like that, she forgets all the crap he just did and sigh, life is alright again. I like to call that a pacifier. He just shut her right up and she took it. This woman has NO boundaries set up and that is why he walks all over her.
Oh, but when I hear about women who have actually set up their boundaries, it helps me to see that my work is not in vain. These women have demanded respect, took the steps to free themselves, and set out to find and gain the love that they truly deserve. Beautiful!
In his first book titled, “Act like a Lady, Think like a Man,” Steve Harvey tells us women that it is of utmost importance for us to set up boundaries/standards of what we will and WILL not take. His wife, Marjorie, did so with him. She stood at the front door of his house, looked him straight in his eye, squared her shoulders, and basically told him that if he can’t get his act together, then she WILL not stay. With that, she walked out the door. Needless to say, he got his act right because they are still married to this day. He actually gave her mad props for her setting up her boundaries.
“A lack of boundaries invites a lack of respect”
See women, when you do this, the man in your life will have no choice BUT to make a decision. Either he will keep stepping; in this case you didn’t need him in your life anyway. Or he will do what he needs to do and step up because he will be so afraid of losing you that he will have to become the man that he needs to be in order to be in your life.
I remember when I had my first date with my boyfriend, he said something that truly disgusted me and I told him right then and there, “If you do that, I will walk out of this restaurant and you will never see me again unless it is in passing.” He laughed and thought I was joking, I told him just how serious I was and I mean what I say. Well, my baby stepped up and realized that he could face the risk of losing me and now he is a complete gentleman and I love the way he treats me: like a Queen! But had I not set up my boundaries, he would have never respected me.
See, when you set your boundaries, there is a possibility that the man will leave. It’s not easy to do, because yes, you are taking a risk, and that may scare you, but you must love yourself more than you think you love or need that man.
After all, you are the treasure that he is looking for. Get some boundaries in place and the whole world will open up for you!
Categories: Some Real Talk