Just recently, I went out on a really fun and relaxing date with a guy (who just so happened to be a cutie pie and very intelligent to boot). I remember during our conversation, after we talked about our dreams and goals, he said something to me that gave me the inspiration to write this post: “Wow, you sound like a whole woman.”
Now, I wasn’t shocked at all. I wasn’t taken aback from what he said, because what he said was just confirmation of what I already know about myself. I am a WHOLE woman. Meaning I know exactly who I am, what I want in life, and I don’t need to seek validation or approval from anyone else. I am FREE to be the woman that I was born to be. Whole, meaning I don’t need anything to complete me.
Now, let me make this clear, that does NOT mean that I do not want a man in my life. On the contrary, I do desire a man in my life, but I do not need that man to make me complete. Are you following me? I don’t need to be under that man 24/7. We are both individuals that have come together to walk together in this life.
Also, I have unpacked my emotional baggage and am now fully able to love another whole human being. Ladies, are you Whole? Are you emotionally ready to be in a relationship or are you just ping ponging from one man to the next never taking the time to get to know yourself as a person?
I once read a book written by Niecy Nash called, “It’s Hard to Fight Naked.” In one part of the book, she said something that I feel will hit home with you if you are still broken. She told of a time that she met a good man, but the words he said to her gave her no choice but to listen and realize that what he was saying was in fact the God’s honest truth. Did it hurt her? Yes, it did, but sometimes the truth has to hurt to help set you free. This is what she wrote:
“I appreciate the fact that you’re interested in me,” he said tenderly. “But I would much rather date you when you’re whole.”
Uhh, excuse me? What are you trying to say? I let him explain himself as tears welled up in my eyes.
“It’s like you’re a runner in a race. I would much rather try to chase you when you’re in the best shape of your life, to be alongside you at the Olympics. But right now, I feel like I’m running after that white woman with a broken leg in a scary movie.”
Well I’ll be damned! Was that harsh? Maybe to some, but to Niecy, those words made her realize that she needed to do the work to get herself whole.
Another thing that Niecy gave advice on was this: “You need to be Whole before you give up the Hole.” If you know what she means. I totally agree with her 110%. How many women, out of their brokenness, have slept with many men thinking that is the answer to get him to stay. Ladies, it will not make that man stay, no matter how hard you think you put it on him. Truth is, he can find another woman out there with better skills in her pinky toe then you have in your whole body.
That man, from the moment he first met you, knew whether or not you were a whole woman or a broken one. They can sense it and some of them can and will make you their prey. This is why you must become whole from within and then and only then, will you attract to you the true love that you seek. Why? Because what you are at the core, you will more than likely attract the same kind of person to you.
Love yourself and treat yourself with respect. Once your crown is properly placed back on your head, you will have remembered that you were a Queen the whole time, and that is when your King will appear.